from a kid's perspective..

As I was frantically running around the house this morning... I stopped and looked at my kids just patiently (yeah.. ok.) standing at the front door waiting for me to drive them to school.  Let's take this simple exercise and switch gears here... what were they thinking?  So... this is what I came up with.  I'm assuming this would be what would come out of their mouths if they had their own blog or advice column:  (However without Mehri taking a creative writing class...that most likely will never happen. ;))

So here we go....
I hear a lot of parents complaining that they can’t manage to get out of the house on time to get their kids to school. And by “a lot of parents” I mean mine. Of course all the bitching is usually aimed at the kid, when in fact it’s the moms and dads that can’t get their shit together.
If your morning routine becomes a daily F.U.B.A.R. take our advice…

1) Make mom lay out her work clothes the night before. Listening to someone whining they have ”nothing to wear” is beyond irritating. Here’s a tip: Who gives a shit what you wear?! Nobody at your job is checking your ass out.  And if you’re trying to ‘dress to impress’ you can give that a rest too…you’re a mom now, chances of you getting a promotion is pretty much nil.

2) Make sure they have their cellphone before leaving the house
You’d think they shoved it out of their own whoo-hoo…that’s how attached moms are to their cellphone. No matter how close you get to your school if that dummy forgot their “smart phone” you’ll be heading back home to look for it. Then you get to sit on the couch and watch while they tear apart the house and desperately “call” it from their land line AKA that other phone they never, ever use.

3) DON’T let them turn on their computer
Parents CANNOT keep track of time if they have their laptop open. Period. If you have any hope of leaving the house unplug their power source, type randomly on their keyboard or threaten to light yourself on fire. If they still won’t look up, make use of your down time and smear your mom’s favorite Body Shop lotion all over your baby dolls.

4.) Keys should be in the same place every time.  Serioulsy.. you lost them again? 
You'd think by now, parents would know after they unlock the front door, to set their keys in the SAME PLACE each time.  But no.  Here's a thought... use the little hook thing you bought for KEYS.  I don't know where they are... and no... I didn't hide them.

Basic principles.  Learn them... use them.  I'm sick of the craziness!


Kids.  Like they know everything. :)

the chair.

I often sit in my 5-year-olds’ room at night while she falls asleep. I think about the day.

Being there soothes my kids. That’s my excuse.
But being there soothes me, too.

My daughter wrestles with sleep like it’s a theological dilemma. If there IS sleep – and I’m not saying there is – how can I know that it’s intimately involved in MY life? … and … What’s the meaning of sleep, anyway? … and … Why does bad sleep happen to good people? 


I sit in a chair, a hard, perfect rocking chair that belonged to me a long while ago.  It’s the kind of sturdy chair that makes people say things like, “They just don’t make things like they used to.” My mom tells stories of reading happily in it when I was younger, both legs flung over an arm. My daughter uses it as a diving platform for jumping across her hot, raging lava floor and onto her bed.

The Chair has been repaired several times throughout the decades of its rich and long life, and one glance at it will tell you that it needs to be again. But I lack the resolve to make the change because I fear that the pursuit of beauty will somehow alter its character or release its soul or dilute its magic. And that will never do.

I sit in the almost dark, and I listen to Darya.
“Mom?” D says in her sturdy voice.
“Yes, Darya?”
“Why does lava bubble up from a volcano?”
“We’ll talk about it in the morning, Darya. It’s sleeping time.”
And a few minutes later…
“Mom?” Darya asks, wide awake.
“Yes, Darya?”
“When people go into outer space, they can’t breathe. That’s why they wear space suits. Right, Mom?”
“We’ll talk about it in the morning, Darya. It’s sleeping time.”
And a few minutes later we do it again.
And a few minutes later we do it again.
And a few minutes later we do it again.
Until I’ve said “Yes, Darya.” and “We’ll talk about it in the morning, Darya. It’s sleeping time.” at least four thousand times.

For a long time, I thought I should stop her at “Mom?”
But every once in a while, she whispers something that tugs at my heart.
“Mom?”
“Yes, Darya?”
“What’s that sound?”
It whistles as it blows. To me, it’s comforting, being warm and cozy inside while a storm rages. I’ve learned that the storm always rages, that it’s ever-present, that it’s part of life. And so I’ve learned to love it when there’s shelter and we’re all curled up together and safe at home. To Darya, though, the wind is a stark reminder that storms exist at all.
“It’s just the wind, baby. It’s just the wind,” I say, which soothes her for reasons I don’t understand.
I don’t want to miss these questions. These thoughts. So even though I tell her that we’ll talk about most things in the morning, I still keep my foot in the conversation door, not closing it on “Mom?”

“Mom?”
“Yes, Darya?”
“Are you going to leave?” She means tonight and as soon as I fall asleep.
And I have to say, “Yes, Darya. I’m going to leave.”

She’s sad. And I think the Chair is sad, too. And I know the mama in the story is sad. Because I am her. And I’m going to leave.

I don’t poo-poo her five-year-old fears at being left by her mama. I don’t tell her that she has a sister whose hand is a room away and ready for holding. I don’t suggest that she should be brave, because courage in the night is never an expectation I have of anyone at all. I don’t remind her that she ends up in my bed still every single night and that our minutes apart from each other will be few and fleeting.

Because I know that it’ll only be a short while – just a matter of the growing-up years – ’til I say, “Darya, are you going to leave?”
And she’ll say, “Yes, Mom. I’m going to leave.”
I pet the arm of my Chair, hand moving with the grain of the smooth wood.
Being there soothes my little girl. That’s my excuse.
But being here soothes me, too.
The Chair knows. I think she really does.

Sing out LOUD!

As many of my closest friends know... I will... in an instant... break out in song. Most of the time, it's while I'm on the phone with my BFF Michele... and it's usually a song she has never heard of and will shake her head in amazement while I belt out a few lyrics. In fact, she always stops me and asks "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SINGING?" However, if you ask her, it does always make her laugh. Objective. MET.

Guess what? Singing is actually GOOD for you!

Now it makes intuitive sense that singing is psychologically good, that it can elevate one's mood or provide an outlet for sadness. But, as I looked into it more, a growing body of science shows that not only is singing mentally healthful, it's also physically good for you.

Check it out:
It can improve the body's immune response.


In elderly people, it can reduce the use of prescription drugs, doctor visits and emergency room care.


The conscious breathing from the diaphragm involved in singing can itself reduce stress.


We all know stress effects the immune system. So it makes sense that when we do something that makes us feel good... the immune system recovers... and gives us a little boost! 


So... despite the fact that my voice is NOT awesome... and I often sing songs that most have never heard of.... it's something that's fun and enjoyable and will always bring a smile to the face of my friends. I will continue on my quest to be the next American Idol.. (ok.. not really).. .and I challenge you all to try it. I bet after singing ONE song.. you'll be in a superfantastic mood and want to pick up the phone and call one of YOUR friends to share the love.

So.... as I go about my day... I have Fun's "We Are Young" bouncing around my head... so drop what you're doing and sing along with me...



So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I'll carry you home




Tonight






:)

patience is......

If you don't know this about me already.... I’m the sort of person who likes things to happen quickly.  Like right now... this second.  I don't like to wait... ever.  I like things to be a certain way, and my kids to listen to me.  Simple.... right?  You'd think.

Ok... so “Patience” is definitely something I need to work on and really has never been part of my genetic makeup.  But, as I get older, I’m learning that the most important things in life take time – and often a LOT of effort.  Learning to be patient takes time, and somewhat paradoxically, it takes patience to learn to be patient.  I know... you're all laughing at me.... cause you KNOW just writing about being patient is irritating to me.  Ok.. deep breath.

Good things take time.... and as much as I don't enjoy waiting for ANYTHING... I'm stepping back and am promising myself to try to be more patient with myself and others around me.  Really.  My kids are my biggest patience tester, so I've come up with a plan.....let me know if you think it'll work. 

Count to 10. When I feel myself getting frustrated or angry, I'm gong to stop. Count slowly to 10 in my head.  I'm thinking if I count out loud to 10, my kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away.  Either way is a win.

Pretend someone’s watching. I forgot where I read this tip (a couple places, I think), but I think it may be effective. I'm going to pretend I have an audience... like Johnny Depp.  I think I'd be less likely to overreact if someone’s there watching my every move.  Especially a sexy pirate.

Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. I'm going to take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let myself calm down, plan out my words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.  (ok you..... Stop laughing.... )

Lastly.... Just laugh. Sometimes I need to remind myself that no one is perfect, (I most CERTAINLY am not!) that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy.  I really do love to laugh.... so if you're going to irritate me...make sure you're funny.  :)

For life's BIGGER patience testers... I'm going to try to just try to remind myself of things that make me happy.  Like sunshine, Disney and my awesome family and friends.  If that doesn't work... my best advice to you...... just run.

wow.... it's been that long?

ok ok... it's 2012 and over a month since I've written anything.  Ya know... excuses excuses.  I could make up a million... and they'd all be pretty convincing.  Truth of the matter is...... yeah.... I've got nothin.


Those that know me are well aware that I thrive on procrastination.  I love doing things last minute... thrive on pressure.  Have been this way FOREVER.  Drives most absolutely crazy... yet intrigues them as well as to how I'm always able to pull stuff off without a hitch.  It's a talent... don't try it at home until you've mastered the art.  I've had my pitfalls... but with a positive attitude and a lot of smoke and mirrors.. I've become pretty good at it.

So let's talk about this.... procrastination.  Good or bad?


The most impressive people I know are all terrible procrastinators. So could it be that procrastination isn't always bad?

I looked online and most people who write about procrastination write about how to cure it. But this is, strictly speaking, impossible. There are an infinite number of things you could be doing. No matter what you work on, you're not working on everything else. So the question is not how to avoid procrastination, but how to procrastinate well.

So the way I look at it... there are three variants of procrastination, depending on what you do instead of working on something: you could work on (a) nothing, (b) something less important, or (c) something more important. That last type, I'd argue, is good procrastination.


That's the sense in which the most impressive people I know are all procrastinators. They're "C" procrastinators: they put off working on small stuff to work on big stuff.  What's "small stuff?" Roughly, work that has zero chance of being mentioned in your obituary. It's hard to say at the time what will turn out to be your best work (will it be your magnum opus on Sumerian temple architecture, or the detective thriller you wrote under a pseudonym?), but there's a whole class of tasks you can safely rule out: shaving, doing your laundry, cleaning the house, writing thank-you notes—anything that might be called an errand.so.... procrastination is good for your health.  And here's why:

Don’t Stress For Long - Instead of being stressed out about a deadline the day you get it, procrastinate and ball all the stress into one single night right before the due date. Why stress out for six days when you can stress out for one?

Nobody Likes a Worry-Wart - I mean, we all have our freak-out moments, but try to minimize them by getting the stress out of the way in one night and one night only.

More Time During The Day - By procrastinating you have more time to do the other things you need to do to get through the day. You know, things around the house. Throw some parties or go on a road trip.

Do The Work Later - Enjoying life now is more fun than enjoying it when you’re old and decrepit. Your body will thank you for not becoming all wrinkly and fidgety when you’re old. Plus your body can handle more strenuous activities when you’re young – like hang gliding, cliff diving, bungee jumping, kayaking, and ski diving.  I do them all the time!

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait - Hey, maybe you’ll win the lottery in the time you spent avoiding work.

Stress And Anxiety Cause Acne - It’s science. Look it up!

I know you're all shaking your heads (SMH! :)) and wondering if I should be on some type of anti- delusional medication.  Bottom line is.. I like being last minute.  I love starting dinner for 10 at 4:00 and kinda still not have the menu totally planned.  Throwing it all together at the last minute is refreshing... and FUN!  The fact of the matter is that we live in a go-go-go society where everyone is expected to be constantly running from one place to another, multi-tasking and working overtime. Our brains simply get tired out. MY worst procrastination occurs when I'm overtired and overstressed, which might indicate something. Could it be that avoiding work is the mind's way of telling us to slow down? Finding yourself vegging out in front of a stupid movie when you ought to be working on a last minute report is a good indication that you might need to stop cramming so much into your day. Saying no.... can be a good thing.

Bottom line... Procrastinating isn't bad. Avoiding the bigger issue to clear away the debris of a noisy mind is a positive and healthy thing to do. It'll make it a lot easier to start with the bigger things..... tomorrow. :)

candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup....

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of a smile.  A smile is so simple, yet so powerful.  I've found I smile a lot... maybe too much sometimes.  It just naturally happens when I'm happy!

Now... for those of you that don't smile a lot.. you may need to practice.  If you do, make sure you do it when you're alone.  You don't want to look like a creeper or a crazy loonatic.  :)  But remember... there's a smile and there's a SMILE.  Smile with your eyes... make it genuine.  Make it YOUR smile.

My friend Google found these little facts for me.  If you smile more often....

People will be attracted to you – I don’t mean sexually (well, maybe that too), but people will feel drawn to your energy. When you smile more, you will carry an aura and poise that will draw people to you. People will look forward to being around you, knowing only that they feel great around you. People on the street, at work, your friends etc. We all like and want to be around happy and cheerful people, right?

Optimistic – You’ll feel more positive about yourself and the world.

Happiness & Joy – A smile is an expression of happiness and joy in you. Like an upward spiral, a smile will boost the happiness you feel.

Healthy – A smile can affect your internal state, which can have physiological impact on your physical and mental health.

Approachable – A smile is so welcoming and will make people feel more at ease.

Making Other People Happy – A smile has the power to make other people feel good about themselves. It’s heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly.

Smiles Are Contagious – Others can quickly and easily catch it and will experience the above ‘side effects’

So... SMILE. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.  :)

be your best self....

Each year that passes.. I say this more and more:  "Time goes too fast."  It's one of the things you can't stop.  Something that will pass you by if you let it... and there's no getting any of it back... ever. 

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs 

How do you feel about your life today? Are you living every day in exuberance? Do you love what you’re doing? Are you excited every single moment? Are you looking forward to what’s coming up next? Are you living your best life?

If your answer to any of the above is a no, maybe or not sure, that means you’re not living your life to the fullest. Which really shouldn’t be the case, because your life experience is up to you to create. 

So I sit here and think.  How do I do that?  It's not easy to let go of the daily routine that takes up every last second of my day. (Especially during Cookie Sale time!) So I searched... and found a few ideas I thought might be fun to share.  

1. Live every day on a fresh new start.  Don’t be held back by what happened yesterday, the day before, the week before, the year before, and so on.

2. Be true to who you are. Stop trying to please other people or be someone else. It’s better to be an original version of yourself than an exact duplicate of someone else.

3. Quit complaining. Don’t be like the howling dog, always howling and never doing anything. Stop complaining about your problems and work on them instead.

4. Rather than think “what if”, think “next time”. Don’t think about things you can’t change (namely what has happened and thoughts of other people) or unhappy things because these are disempowering. Instead focus on the things you can action upon. That’s the most constructive thing you can do in any situation.

5.Live more consciously each day. Stop sleepwalking through life. Your life is something to be experienced, not coasted through.

6. Do the things you love, because life is too precious to spend it doing anything else. If you don’t enjoy something, then don’t do it. Spend your time and energy on things that bring you fulfillment and happiness.

7.Let go of attachments. Don’t fixate yourself with a certain status, fame, wealth or material possessions. These are impermanent and will ultimately disappear one day when you die. Focus on growing and living life to the fullest instead.

8. Let go of relationships that do not serve you. That means negative people, dishonest people, people who don’t respect you, people are overly critical and relationships that prevent you from growing.

9. Spend more time with people who enable you. Hang out with people who you compatible with, like-minded people, people who are positive, successful, strong achievers and positive for your growth. You are after all the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

10. Do a kind deed a day. What is something you can do today that will make the world a better place? Go and do it.

So as you read this today, and you think you're not living your life to the fullest.. pick a couple of these things and go.  Cause after all, what's a day worth if you don't spend it smiling?  And if you chose to do just one... pick #10.  :)