sleep on it.....

Today... was a really bad day.  Actually... this entire week hasn't been too thrilling.  Work is insanely busy.  Phone calls, e-mails, people in asking questions, work deadlines, COMPLETE craziness.  I feel like I can get nothing accomplished.  Just when I think I'm ahead.. I'm 14 steps behind.  I'm an emotional person.... I admit it.  Those closest to me know it... especially those closest to me at work.  (She knows who she is.)  She keeps me grounded... and isn't afraid to tell me I'm being an annoying bitch.  (And YES... she uses those exact words...)  Funny part is... she's always right... and is able to bring me back down to where I should be.  You really gotta love THAT kind of friendship.  :)

So here I sit... the entire house has gone to bed... and I am wide awake... thinking.  One thought in my head...  "Every action has a reaction."  Hummmm.... so true.  Think about it for a minute... bad days challenge us and all decisions that have the power to change lives for the better (or worse) call for a clear head.  Muddled minds and sluggish emotional thoughts make bad decisions and are quick to rash reactions.  So... here's a thought: For sharp thinking...and to remove some of the emotion.... nothing beats "sleeping on it." 

It's true.  I've read that your subconscience works on problems while you rest, and that's why solutions come easier in the morning.  Ya think so?  Could be.

Or is it that brain power is strongest after a good night's sleep?

Yeah... I need to know.  So... I googled it.  (Love that you can google anything at 10:30 pm... :))

There was a study done at the University of Florida  on the unexplored relationship between job satisfaction and the shifting moods of employees.  Employees who have stressful days bring their negative moods home with them at night, but in most cases, bad feelings disappear by morning.  Well duh.  I KNEW I should have been a doctor.

So let's try it.  I'm gonna go sleep on it.  Everybody has bad days.  Or bad weeks.  Tomorrow really IS another day.....

someone please stop the ride... I wanna get off....

Wake up.  Take a shower.  Make lunches.  Make coffee for Reza. Make breakfast. Catch up on FB news.. (yeah.. I know... ), wake the kids up.... five times. Argue over outfit choice for Mehri.  Try to get Darya to put on something weather appropriate (No honey, you cannot wear your bathing suit to daycare...), try to get myself ready.  Swear at my clothes for shrinking while I was sleeping.  Fight with my flat iron and hair.. and apply many coats of foundation to cover the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep.. all while two kids try to sneak some of my makeup on while I'm not looking.  Throw in a load of laundry, pack up... grab keys... set house alarm aaaaaand.... GO.  Time to start my day.  All before 8am.

Sounds familiar to probably 90% of my friends.  The stress of being a mom.... and caregiver, and room parent and doctor organizer and bill payer and laundry washer and dinner maker and house cleaner and... and... and... and.... takes it's toll.  Add a full time job which happens to be my busiest time of the year...  a kid who suffers from severe asthma.... and a husband who works constantly.... it's enough to make me drink... heavily... EVERY night.

I am always running. I am always moving. There is simply so much to do and so little time to do it…. I began to think about all I do in a day and yet how much I also miss in my kids' lives when I refuse to do less.

On the other hand.... I love my work. It has enriched my life in ways that can't be measured. Every time I walk into my office I'm excited to get going. At the same time, though, I feel pressure. I've noticed that pressure hits its high point every day at about 3:30 p.m., when I start to feel the anxiety rising in my gut. Only 60 more minutes. I have so much to do. I'm way behind. Send that email, quick. Oh gosh, only 30 more minutes. What can I do in 30 minutes? Not much, at least not much that's done well anyway.

Do you have a time like that during the day, your own version of the 3:30 Anxiety Attack where all of your hats start competing for your attention and you feel overwhelmed and pulled in different directions? Is it when you are leaving work because you need to get home to your family but your boss wants you to stay to do something else because his or her boss needed it yesterday? Is it when you are playing with your kids but thoughts start creeping in about how you need to clean the house before so-and-so comes over? Is it when you're taking a shower and forget whether you've already washed your hair because you've been focused on composing blog posts or office memos in your head? Is it when you are so tired at the end of the day that you can barely manage a conversation with your spouse?

Sometimes I feel like I'm giving less than the whole me to everything that's important. I can't do it all. It's not possible to do it all. Yet I've been as yet unwilling to give up "it all."

Meagan Francis, author of the blog and forthcoming book "The Happiest Mom," says she's trying to do fewer things and do them better this year. In a recent blog post, she wrote this:
"I realized that I already know the things I need to do, which is different from all the things I could be doing. And here's the trick: It's more important to actually do those things that need to be done than to pursue the shiny new idea right around the corner ...

The truth is, every day brings with it plenty of opportunities for us to do better -- not perfect, but better -- at small, familiar things instead of chasing down the next new thing that will "make" us more: fulfilled, successful, better parents, more in shape. The more I try to do everything, the more elaborate a schedule I cook up -- the more I slack off, drop the ball, leave things hanging. Because I can't do everything and do it well."

Guilty as charged.

Meagan likens all of the options of things she can do to a buffet where everything looks so good you decide to pile your plate high, later regretting how much you ate and rummaging through the medicine cabinet for Pepto. That's me. I'm not sure how to stop eating, er, drinking from the fire hose, er, doing so much.

So... I'm going to try to slow down.  I'm going to disconnect at night.  (YES Michele... I AM)  I'm not going to worry about all I didn't get finished.  I'm going to enjoy life, my kids and all the peace and quiet that comes along with them.... :)

just be nice....

Negative people.  They're like human black holes that suddenly come out of nowhere and suck the life out of you.  You try to stay positive and remain strong.... but their negativity ends up completely draining you.  You feel exhausted.

Hard to believe, right?  You're not one of those people.  You're always happy.  You always have nice things to say.  You smile at strangers. 

You've been told to "be nice" since you were little.  But what does "be nice" mean as an adult?  Well.. first of all... smile.  For the most part, if you smile at someone, they won't do anything but smile back. 

Be courteous. Always say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome."  Be patient, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect. Even if you don't particularly like someone at first, they could end up being a really interesting and kind person. Don't forget "Excuse me" instead of "MOVE!". Remember: People aren't dogs or the ground you spit on, they are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will have to act the same way.

Be sincere.  Don't be nice as a means to an end. If you just want to be nice so that you can gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice-it's deceptive, shallow and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to.

Do those little things. Those little, everyday things, like holding the door for a someone you don't know, or smiling at someone who isn't always nice to you- those little tiny things that don't seem to matter much, but in the end, you come off as a much nicer person and you also show that you sincerely and genuinely care.

Always remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.And respect them for who they are. don't change them. Even though some people may not be nice to you at first, they'll come around eventually.

Finally... if you're on Facebook... like this page:  JUST BE NICE.  It was created by a friend of mine... and is a great place to visit when you're having one of those days where you need a little "niceness."  Post your thoughts on the wall... and share it with all your friends.  Cause it's about time we're all just a little bit NICER to one another. <3

time keeps on ticking.....

The first day of school.... I remember it well.  We were all dressed in our little uniforms with blue knee socks and brand new shoes... ready to start the year.  I never understood why my mom was so happy for us to go back... until now.


Granted, I love my children more than life itself.  BUT... this summer, they were on my very last nerve.  Mehri is now sporting an attitude, and Darya... well... she's a little mini ME.  It's very scary... and I'm nervous about what she's going to be like when she's older.  I now apologize to my mom for everything I've ever done.  There... will that bring good Karma my way?? :)


Today... due to my smart thinking... I took the day off and had TIME.  Blocks of unfettered hours in which I could do, well, whatever I want.  I could spend some of it reading. Staring out a window. Exercising. Shopping. Eating. Mindlessly clicking. It’s my time. How do I want to use it?

Since so many of us have kids entering school–maybe for the first time–right now, I figured this would be a great opportunity to talk about TIME. How do you manage it so that it doesn’t slip away? How do you keep social media from overtaking your life? How do you fit in the things you want to do amid the things you need to do? How do you figure out the difference?

It’s so easy to sit down at your computer at 9 AM with big plans for what you want to accomplish, then stand back up at noon with nothing but a stiff butt and vague memories of Facebook conversations. In our day to day lives, it’s easy for your average Tuesday to just seem so ordinary. It’s hard to believe that anything special could happen today, or that it will matter much if you fritter it away. And yet, when you stop to think about it, our entire lives are made up of ordinary days just like this one.

Do you feel like you have “enough” time? What would it mean, to you, to have enough?  or.... Is there ever enough? :)

Whatever you did with your time today... I hope it made you happy.  Because as I look at the clock.. I see I only have a little bit of it left - so I'm off to enjoy every last second before the bus returns!  Enjoy! 

I simply remember my favorite things.....

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens / Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens / Brown paper packages tied up with strings / These are a few of my favorite things” – Oscar Hammerstein II, ‘The Sound of Music’

 

I seek out happy things. I make a point everyday to do or simply be near something that makes me happy. So, what makes me happy? Like the song goes, I just think of my favorite things…

• Making my kids (or husband) laugh
• A long walk on a sunny day
• Vacation! :)
• Music I can sing or dance along with
• The smell of clean laundry right out of the dryer
• a long kiss

It’s important to know what makes you happy, and I wonder how many people really stop to contemplate the simple things that can be a part of their everyday lives.

Now, I should add that happiness is the outward manifestation of inner joy. You can fill up your life with lots of stuff, but if you’re not internally okay with yourself, then there’s only so much materialistic things can ever do for you.  Life isn't about things.  It's about that feeling you get when you drop for the 4th time on the Tower of Terror.... or licking the sides of a melted ice cream cone.... or kissing your husband goodnight after a long day.  Little things.... inexpensive things... things we may do every day that seem like nothing, but ALWAYS make us smile.

So I ask you, what makes you happy? I’m not talking deliriously happy, like skipping down the street like a little girl, but just a general feeling of contentment with the world around you. Think about it.  Then, do them more often.

:)

"a quiet mind cureth all.”

There's something about peace and quiet that soothes the soul.


Think about it. How many people can just sit comfortably in the quiet of their mind? Most of the world says, turn on the TV. Turn it up loud, so I can hear it. Turn up that car radio. I want to memorize those lyrics to that new song. Let’s go to the movies and watch the latest blow ‘em up, shoot ‘em up. Let’s get a new sound system so we can have a speaker in every room. Surround sound. Yes, surround your self with sound, with noise, with chatter and clatter.


Could it be, the very thing you cherish is the cause of your demise?

What if there were all this noise and no one participated anymore? Would the war you have going on inside of you cease to be? Would your stress cease to be? Would your anxiety finally come to an end? Would your fear disappear?

But, you’ll be bored. You won’t have anything to do. What would you talk about?   The more noise the better. More concerts, more loud music, more movies, more sporting events, more conversations, more television. More things to “look forward to.” More excitement.

Quieting the mind to focus on the important can be difficult. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we “should be” doing, rather than focusing on what brings us joy and happiness. For example, some of the “should statements” that have popped into my mind lately include:

• I should get a second job.
• I should do the laundry.
• I should be writing.

And the list goes on and on.

The “should” statements are noisy and annoying. So I’ve incorporated the following tips into my life. The actions have helped me quiet my noisy mind. I hope you find them useful.

1. Be present and enjoy the moment.

Enjoy the little things and don’t worry about “I should” statements.

Instead of trying to predict the future, be a rock star for at least 5 minutes a day and focus on the moment. Rather than trying to create the perfect future, you can create art that matters. A piece of art that can change a person’s life for the better.

2. Practice walking meditation.

Walking is a form of active meditation. It’s a beautiful way to calm the mind, be present and mindful of your experiences while you walk. Look at the trees, flowers, and people you pass. More importantly, don’t forget to breathe.

3. Unplug from the internet.

You know what to do. Turn the internet off and focus on your thoughts. When the “should” statements get too overwhelming, write down all of the thoughts that pop into your mind. Getting the “should” statements onto paper will help clear your mind and move forward.

Happiness is the harvest of a quiet mind. Anchor your thoughts on peace, poise, security, and divine guidance, and your mind will be productive of happiness.


Now shhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ :)

chief happiness officer......

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  From the moment Alexander wakes up with gum in his hair, things just don't go Alexander's way. When Alexander gets out of bed, he trips on the skateboard and drops his sweater into the sink while the water was running. At breakfast, Alexander's brothers, Anthony and Nick reach into their cereal boxes and find amazing prizes while Alexander ends up with cereal.

At home, the family has lima beans for dinner (which he hates), there is kissing on TV (which he also hates), bath time becomes a nightmare (too hot water, soap in his eyes, and losing a marble down the drain) and he has to wear his railroad train pajamas (he hates his railroad train pajamas).

At bedtime, his nightlight burns out, he bites his tongue, Nick takes back a pillow, and the family cat chooses to sleep with Anthony. No wonder Alexander wants to move to Australia.

Sound like your day?  (or have you just read this book?)

Ok... let's fix it.

Try this first: Talk To A Good Friend
Here, the emphasis is on good. Trying to find support from someone with poor listening skills or who really doesn't want to support you can make you feel worse, as can someone who will engage in co-rumination instead of trying to help you pull out of things. (The best balance is someone who will listen to your feelings, empathize, and then help you look at things you may be missing or help you get into a new frame of mind in another way. Sometimes even the listening and empathizing can help you pull out of things on your own.)

Ok... that didn't work??  Take a Mini-Meditation Break
Meditation can be a great tool for helping people get into a different frame of mind. Even a 5- or 10-minute meditation can give you a needed break from what's stressing you and help you come back with a new perspective and a fresh start. It can also turn off your stress response you you're physiologically back to normal.

Still miserable?  Well then.... Count Your Blessings
Gratitude has some wonderful benefits for stress management and well-being. It's also hard to focus on how bad things are when you're focusing on how good things are! Counting off 10 or more things you're grateful for, or really dwelling on 2 or 3, can get you into a whole different place, and turn a bad day around!

alright.... if all else fails..... CHOCOLATE!
One small piece of very good chocolate, savored with a cup of green tea and a quiet break from stress, can help me feel a little pampered and do wonders for my mood if all else fails.

Today, it was the talk with the good friend that helped me pull out if it. (That and just focusing on getting work done.) Other days, other things work well. What helps you shake the negative energy of an 'until-now bad day'?

Choose to be happy. Choose to be carefree and enjoy life. Choose to laugh even more than you do. Replace any worries with happy thoughts.  My guess is that you’ll be very glad you did. And, you’ll live not only a longer..... but also a much happier, rewarding life.

Now.... who took my chocolate??