the green eyed monster...

I'm on the mailing list.  You know... the one that sends all those special offers for 35% off, free this... free that... at the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.  Got one yesterday... and I've been crabby ever since.

My Vacation Club-holding brother is going in October.  My sister leaves in 2 weeks.  Me?  Well....not happening.  Don't get me wrong... I am so very happy for everyone that gets to go spend quality family time together in a tropical-like climate with a large mouse and all his friends.  I'm just jealous.... which bothers me in two ways.  First, I'm bothered that it's not me who's going.  Second, I'm bothered that I'm jealous.  I don't like to be jealous.  It's against every moral fiber of my being.  And REALLY makes me cranky.  And ask anyone... I am NOT fun when I'm cranky.  Ok... so that's three ways.  I like to be fun too.  Ugh.

I know, you're all shaking your heads at me saying "LOSER."  What's the big deal?  You were just there in April.  Your kids have been there so many times, it's sick.  Think of all the people that have never gone.  Haven't you been there enough?  There are so many other places in the world... why do you always go there?  It's so hot there right now.  You want to stand in huge lines in the sweltering heat with 50,000 kids?

YES.

Jealousy.  I looked it up.  I won't write down the definition because it annoys me.   Instead, let's look deeper.  I know each and every one of us is jealous of SOMETHING.  You know what?  I think that jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. Like if you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom.

When it happens....ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.

All of us also need to change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear.to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear.

If all else fails, fake it. Portray a non-jealous facade while you work on overcoming jealousy. Eventually, working your way through your feelings, the facade will become real, but in the meantime you will protect yourself from appearing jealous to others.

So, I have issues.  I admit it.  I'm going to work through them BUT ..... In the meantime... maybe I'll drive Reza crazy enough that he'll give in and take us..... :)  Right.