candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup....

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of a smile.  A smile is so simple, yet so powerful.  I've found I smile a lot... maybe too much sometimes.  It just naturally happens when I'm happy!

Now... for those of you that don't smile a lot.. you may need to practice.  If you do, make sure you do it when you're alone.  You don't want to look like a creeper or a crazy loonatic.  :)  But remember... there's a smile and there's a SMILE.  Smile with your eyes... make it genuine.  Make it YOUR smile.

My friend Google found these little facts for me.  If you smile more often....

People will be attracted to you – I don’t mean sexually (well, maybe that too), but people will feel drawn to your energy. When you smile more, you will carry an aura and poise that will draw people to you. People will look forward to being around you, knowing only that they feel great around you. People on the street, at work, your friends etc. We all like and want to be around happy and cheerful people, right?

Optimistic – You’ll feel more positive about yourself and the world.

Happiness & Joy – A smile is an expression of happiness and joy in you. Like an upward spiral, a smile will boost the happiness you feel.

Healthy – A smile can affect your internal state, which can have physiological impact on your physical and mental health.

Approachable – A smile is so welcoming and will make people feel more at ease.

Making Other People Happy – A smile has the power to make other people feel good about themselves. It’s heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly.

Smiles Are Contagious – Others can quickly and easily catch it and will experience the above ‘side effects’

So... SMILE. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.  :)

be your best self....

Each year that passes.. I say this more and more:  "Time goes too fast."  It's one of the things you can't stop.  Something that will pass you by if you let it... and there's no getting any of it back... ever. 

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs 

How do you feel about your life today? Are you living every day in exuberance? Do you love what you’re doing? Are you excited every single moment? Are you looking forward to what’s coming up next? Are you living your best life?

If your answer to any of the above is a no, maybe or not sure, that means you’re not living your life to the fullest. Which really shouldn’t be the case, because your life experience is up to you to create. 

So I sit here and think.  How do I do that?  It's not easy to let go of the daily routine that takes up every last second of my day. (Especially during Cookie Sale time!) So I searched... and found a few ideas I thought might be fun to share.  

1. Live every day on a fresh new start.  Don’t be held back by what happened yesterday, the day before, the week before, the year before, and so on.

2. Be true to who you are. Stop trying to please other people or be someone else. It’s better to be an original version of yourself than an exact duplicate of someone else.

3. Quit complaining. Don’t be like the howling dog, always howling and never doing anything. Stop complaining about your problems and work on them instead.

4. Rather than think “what if”, think “next time”. Don’t think about things you can’t change (namely what has happened and thoughts of other people) or unhappy things because these are disempowering. Instead focus on the things you can action upon. That’s the most constructive thing you can do in any situation.

5.Live more consciously each day. Stop sleepwalking through life. Your life is something to be experienced, not coasted through.

6. Do the things you love, because life is too precious to spend it doing anything else. If you don’t enjoy something, then don’t do it. Spend your time and energy on things that bring you fulfillment and happiness.

7.Let go of attachments. Don’t fixate yourself with a certain status, fame, wealth or material possessions. These are impermanent and will ultimately disappear one day when you die. Focus on growing and living life to the fullest instead.

8. Let go of relationships that do not serve you. That means negative people, dishonest people, people who don’t respect you, people are overly critical and relationships that prevent you from growing.

9. Spend more time with people who enable you. Hang out with people who you compatible with, like-minded people, people who are positive, successful, strong achievers and positive for your growth. You are after all the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

10. Do a kind deed a day. What is something you can do today that will make the world a better place? Go and do it.

So as you read this today, and you think you're not living your life to the fullest.. pick a couple of these things and go.  Cause after all, what's a day worth if you don't spend it smiling?  And if you chose to do just one... pick #10.  :)

kindness.

Today, I had a situation arise where one of my volunteers was angry.  She didn't like the situation she had to deal with... so she became nasty and started yelling.  At me and everyone around me.

Now those of you that know me... know how much I love nasty people.  Not.At. All.  I will never ever understand how people can be so mean. So, in the face of adversity, I chose to take the high road.  In the scheme of all that is real, is it really worth it to get upset with trivial things?  Nope.  

Now don't get me wrong, I had a few choice words for her... in my head. (And MAYBE out loud to my closest friends....) However, I kept smiling and killed her with kindness.  I'm sure it drove her completely insane, but... who knows.  She may have gone home a little happier than when she drove into the parking lot and almost ran me over with her car.  (Ok... Yes, I'm exaggerating.)

I don't care what people say.. it pays to be nice.

Now I’m no angel. Sometimes I do things that I’m not so proud of. For instance, I get frustrated with "customer service" and sometimes take it out on the person on the other line who has nothing to do with my problem. They’re just doing their job, directing me to someone else who can help me (so they say), but then I get redirected and redirected over and over again, and before you know it, I find myself upset with someone who did nothing wrong. 

I realize that this might make some people think you aren’t being genuinely nice if one does it hoping to gain something from the experience. However, the way I see it, everyone wins in this scenario. Studies have shown that it pays to be nice and that greater rewards come out of treating people well. 

However, if you can’t bring yourself to be nice for the sake of the other parties involved think of these reasons: 

Do you want your legacy to be that you were a jerk? (Plain and simple!)  Out of all the things you do in your life, people will remember the most how you treated fellow human beings. 

Secondly, life is too short to be nasty person. Do you really want to look back on your life and only remember treating people badly? Most likely not.

In the end, even those who treat you like you wouldn’t want to be treated MAY just change their tune if you send a little sunshine in their direction.  So smile.  And just be nice.  :)  

dance in the rain.....

It's been raining here in Buffalo since Saturday. It's dreary, cold and miserable. BUT... "Life is not waiting for a storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain." ~Vivanne Grenne

Many people believe they can only enjoy life to the fullest when they have a lot of money, are in a wonderfully romantic relationship, have a successful career, etc. Not so! Consider this: money does not buy happiness, it only makes misery more comfortable.

We do not have to wait for something or someone to 'happen to us' for us to feel worthy and capable of feeling happiness. In fact, until now, that way of thinking has allowed countless opportunities for happiness and positive personal growth to pass us by.

True happiness is not found in the 'whens' of life, it is found within us and is within our reach, here, now, today. If we learn to value and have a good relationship with ourselves, feel competent, (and be there for others), then we have what we need to enjoy life right now. Having the willingness to be open to new and different ways of viewing ourselves and embracing our ability to adapt to changes, (which are bound to occur), are vital to the process of finding and sustaining happiness.

Will we feel happy all of the time? No. However, next time you see clouds on the horizon, you can choose not to grumble about the impending storm. Instead, you can choose to enjoy it and view this as an opportunity to think, feel and do something differently.

Think about this: When we are young, dancing in the rain is fun and a perfectly acceptable form of behavior. I say it still is; both literally and metaphorically.

My friend Amy gave me a copy of this story a few years ago, and I think about it often whenever life gets me down.


The Trouble Tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work & his electric drill quit, his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do at the little tree.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again." Funny thing is," he smiled", when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

So, plant yourself a trouble tree outside your front door-and use it whenever you come home. Be grateful that you have loved ones to go home to, even if your loved one is simply your beloved dog or cherished cat or prized goldfish.

And when you pick up your troubles on the way out each morning, be grateful that they're not as heavy as they were the night before.

Oh... and learn to dance in the rain. :)

my friends are my estate..... :)

As I sit and look at my "friends" list on Facebook... I wonder to myself... do I really have 220 friends?  Granted, some of them are my family.... but seriously... 220?  I don't think so.


So I looked for the definition of a true friend... and I found this:

A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.

A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A good friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.

A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend calls you after you had a fight.

A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A good friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A good friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you.




I can put faces of my friends in each of these scenarios.  But how do you attract and keep true friends?  It's Simple: 

• First and foremost.... Be the friend you wish to have.  Simple.  
• Listen.  The art of listening is one of the most difficult arts to master.... a true friend always listens... and not just hears.
• Trust. If you treat others as good and trustworthy people, they will treat you likewise. Believe in your heart that people are naturally good, even when they seem to be the opposite. People will feel how you believe in them.
• Know the right time to do things. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over. ~Gloria Naylor
  
  
  There are so many more things that I could say... but I'm sure you get the point.  Friendship is a very special gift,  one I used to take for granted.  In reality, friendship is a form of unconditional love.  It's given without restriction, without condition and without the expectation of anything in return.  Those of you who are true friends in my life... know it.  You're loyal and love me for who I am.... craziness and all.  Why?  Because you know I'm there for you night and day... with open arms for a hug, a true listening ear... and Girl Scout cookies.  :)

  

sleep on it.....

Today... was a really bad day.  Actually... this entire week hasn't been too thrilling.  Work is insanely busy.  Phone calls, e-mails, people in asking questions, work deadlines, COMPLETE craziness.  I feel like I can get nothing accomplished.  Just when I think I'm ahead.. I'm 14 steps behind.  I'm an emotional person.... I admit it.  Those closest to me know it... especially those closest to me at work.  (She knows who she is.)  She keeps me grounded... and isn't afraid to tell me I'm being an annoying bitch.  (And YES... she uses those exact words...)  Funny part is... she's always right... and is able to bring me back down to where I should be.  You really gotta love THAT kind of friendship.  :)

So here I sit... the entire house has gone to bed... and I am wide awake... thinking.  One thought in my head...  "Every action has a reaction."  Hummmm.... so true.  Think about it for a minute... bad days challenge us and all decisions that have the power to change lives for the better (or worse) call for a clear head.  Muddled minds and sluggish emotional thoughts make bad decisions and are quick to rash reactions.  So... here's a thought: For sharp thinking...and to remove some of the emotion.... nothing beats "sleeping on it." 

It's true.  I've read that your subconscience works on problems while you rest, and that's why solutions come easier in the morning.  Ya think so?  Could be.

Or is it that brain power is strongest after a good night's sleep?

Yeah... I need to know.  So... I googled it.  (Love that you can google anything at 10:30 pm... :))

There was a study done at the University of Florida  on the unexplored relationship between job satisfaction and the shifting moods of employees.  Employees who have stressful days bring their negative moods home with them at night, but in most cases, bad feelings disappear by morning.  Well duh.  I KNEW I should have been a doctor.

So let's try it.  I'm gonna go sleep on it.  Everybody has bad days.  Or bad weeks.  Tomorrow really IS another day.....

someone please stop the ride... I wanna get off....

Wake up.  Take a shower.  Make lunches.  Make coffee for Reza. Make breakfast. Catch up on FB news.. (yeah.. I know... ), wake the kids up.... five times. Argue over outfit choice for Mehri.  Try to get Darya to put on something weather appropriate (No honey, you cannot wear your bathing suit to daycare...), try to get myself ready.  Swear at my clothes for shrinking while I was sleeping.  Fight with my flat iron and hair.. and apply many coats of foundation to cover the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep.. all while two kids try to sneak some of my makeup on while I'm not looking.  Throw in a load of laundry, pack up... grab keys... set house alarm aaaaaand.... GO.  Time to start my day.  All before 8am.

Sounds familiar to probably 90% of my friends.  The stress of being a mom.... and caregiver, and room parent and doctor organizer and bill payer and laundry washer and dinner maker and house cleaner and... and... and... and.... takes it's toll.  Add a full time job which happens to be my busiest time of the year...  a kid who suffers from severe asthma.... and a husband who works constantly.... it's enough to make me drink... heavily... EVERY night.

I am always running. I am always moving. There is simply so much to do and so little time to do it…. I began to think about all I do in a day and yet how much I also miss in my kids' lives when I refuse to do less.

On the other hand.... I love my work. It has enriched my life in ways that can't be measured. Every time I walk into my office I'm excited to get going. At the same time, though, I feel pressure. I've noticed that pressure hits its high point every day at about 3:30 p.m., when I start to feel the anxiety rising in my gut. Only 60 more minutes. I have so much to do. I'm way behind. Send that email, quick. Oh gosh, only 30 more minutes. What can I do in 30 minutes? Not much, at least not much that's done well anyway.

Do you have a time like that during the day, your own version of the 3:30 Anxiety Attack where all of your hats start competing for your attention and you feel overwhelmed and pulled in different directions? Is it when you are leaving work because you need to get home to your family but your boss wants you to stay to do something else because his or her boss needed it yesterday? Is it when you are playing with your kids but thoughts start creeping in about how you need to clean the house before so-and-so comes over? Is it when you're taking a shower and forget whether you've already washed your hair because you've been focused on composing blog posts or office memos in your head? Is it when you are so tired at the end of the day that you can barely manage a conversation with your spouse?

Sometimes I feel like I'm giving less than the whole me to everything that's important. I can't do it all. It's not possible to do it all. Yet I've been as yet unwilling to give up "it all."

Meagan Francis, author of the blog and forthcoming book "The Happiest Mom," says she's trying to do fewer things and do them better this year. In a recent blog post, she wrote this:
"I realized that I already know the things I need to do, which is different from all the things I could be doing. And here's the trick: It's more important to actually do those things that need to be done than to pursue the shiny new idea right around the corner ...

The truth is, every day brings with it plenty of opportunities for us to do better -- not perfect, but better -- at small, familiar things instead of chasing down the next new thing that will "make" us more: fulfilled, successful, better parents, more in shape. The more I try to do everything, the more elaborate a schedule I cook up -- the more I slack off, drop the ball, leave things hanging. Because I can't do everything and do it well."

Guilty as charged.

Meagan likens all of the options of things she can do to a buffet where everything looks so good you decide to pile your plate high, later regretting how much you ate and rummaging through the medicine cabinet for Pepto. That's me. I'm not sure how to stop eating, er, drinking from the fire hose, er, doing so much.

So... I'm going to try to slow down.  I'm going to disconnect at night.  (YES Michele... I AM)  I'm not going to worry about all I didn't get finished.  I'm going to enjoy life, my kids and all the peace and quiet that comes along with them.... :)

just be nice....

Negative people.  They're like human black holes that suddenly come out of nowhere and suck the life out of you.  You try to stay positive and remain strong.... but their negativity ends up completely draining you.  You feel exhausted.

Hard to believe, right?  You're not one of those people.  You're always happy.  You always have nice things to say.  You smile at strangers. 

You've been told to "be nice" since you were little.  But what does "be nice" mean as an adult?  Well.. first of all... smile.  For the most part, if you smile at someone, they won't do anything but smile back. 

Be courteous. Always say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome."  Be patient, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect. Even if you don't particularly like someone at first, they could end up being a really interesting and kind person. Don't forget "Excuse me" instead of "MOVE!". Remember: People aren't dogs or the ground you spit on, they are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will have to act the same way.

Be sincere.  Don't be nice as a means to an end. If you just want to be nice so that you can gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice-it's deceptive, shallow and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to.

Do those little things. Those little, everyday things, like holding the door for a someone you don't know, or smiling at someone who isn't always nice to you- those little tiny things that don't seem to matter much, but in the end, you come off as a much nicer person and you also show that you sincerely and genuinely care.

Always remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.And respect them for who they are. don't change them. Even though some people may not be nice to you at first, they'll come around eventually.

Finally... if you're on Facebook... like this page:  JUST BE NICE.  It was created by a friend of mine... and is a great place to visit when you're having one of those days where you need a little "niceness."  Post your thoughts on the wall... and share it with all your friends.  Cause it's about time we're all just a little bit NICER to one another. <3

time keeps on ticking.....

The first day of school.... I remember it well.  We were all dressed in our little uniforms with blue knee socks and brand new shoes... ready to start the year.  I never understood why my mom was so happy for us to go back... until now.


Granted, I love my children more than life itself.  BUT... this summer, they were on my very last nerve.  Mehri is now sporting an attitude, and Darya... well... she's a little mini ME.  It's very scary... and I'm nervous about what she's going to be like when she's older.  I now apologize to my mom for everything I've ever done.  There... will that bring good Karma my way?? :)


Today... due to my smart thinking... I took the day off and had TIME.  Blocks of unfettered hours in which I could do, well, whatever I want.  I could spend some of it reading. Staring out a window. Exercising. Shopping. Eating. Mindlessly clicking. It’s my time. How do I want to use it?

Since so many of us have kids entering school–maybe for the first time–right now, I figured this would be a great opportunity to talk about TIME. How do you manage it so that it doesn’t slip away? How do you keep social media from overtaking your life? How do you fit in the things you want to do amid the things you need to do? How do you figure out the difference?

It’s so easy to sit down at your computer at 9 AM with big plans for what you want to accomplish, then stand back up at noon with nothing but a stiff butt and vague memories of Facebook conversations. In our day to day lives, it’s easy for your average Tuesday to just seem so ordinary. It’s hard to believe that anything special could happen today, or that it will matter much if you fritter it away. And yet, when you stop to think about it, our entire lives are made up of ordinary days just like this one.

Do you feel like you have “enough” time? What would it mean, to you, to have enough?  or.... Is there ever enough? :)

Whatever you did with your time today... I hope it made you happy.  Because as I look at the clock.. I see I only have a little bit of it left - so I'm off to enjoy every last second before the bus returns!  Enjoy! 

I simply remember my favorite things.....

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens / Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens / Brown paper packages tied up with strings / These are a few of my favorite things” – Oscar Hammerstein II, ‘The Sound of Music’

 

I seek out happy things. I make a point everyday to do or simply be near something that makes me happy. So, what makes me happy? Like the song goes, I just think of my favorite things…

• Making my kids (or husband) laugh
• A long walk on a sunny day
• Vacation! :)
• Music I can sing or dance along with
• The smell of clean laundry right out of the dryer
• a long kiss

It’s important to know what makes you happy, and I wonder how many people really stop to contemplate the simple things that can be a part of their everyday lives.

Now, I should add that happiness is the outward manifestation of inner joy. You can fill up your life with lots of stuff, but if you’re not internally okay with yourself, then there’s only so much materialistic things can ever do for you.  Life isn't about things.  It's about that feeling you get when you drop for the 4th time on the Tower of Terror.... or licking the sides of a melted ice cream cone.... or kissing your husband goodnight after a long day.  Little things.... inexpensive things... things we may do every day that seem like nothing, but ALWAYS make us smile.

So I ask you, what makes you happy? I’m not talking deliriously happy, like skipping down the street like a little girl, but just a general feeling of contentment with the world around you. Think about it.  Then, do them more often.

:)

"a quiet mind cureth all.”

There's something about peace and quiet that soothes the soul.


Think about it. How many people can just sit comfortably in the quiet of their mind? Most of the world says, turn on the TV. Turn it up loud, so I can hear it. Turn up that car radio. I want to memorize those lyrics to that new song. Let’s go to the movies and watch the latest blow ‘em up, shoot ‘em up. Let’s get a new sound system so we can have a speaker in every room. Surround sound. Yes, surround your self with sound, with noise, with chatter and clatter.


Could it be, the very thing you cherish is the cause of your demise?

What if there were all this noise and no one participated anymore? Would the war you have going on inside of you cease to be? Would your stress cease to be? Would your anxiety finally come to an end? Would your fear disappear?

But, you’ll be bored. You won’t have anything to do. What would you talk about?   The more noise the better. More concerts, more loud music, more movies, more sporting events, more conversations, more television. More things to “look forward to.” More excitement.

Quieting the mind to focus on the important can be difficult. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we “should be” doing, rather than focusing on what brings us joy and happiness. For example, some of the “should statements” that have popped into my mind lately include:

• I should get a second job.
• I should do the laundry.
• I should be writing.

And the list goes on and on.

The “should” statements are noisy and annoying. So I’ve incorporated the following tips into my life. The actions have helped me quiet my noisy mind. I hope you find them useful.

1. Be present and enjoy the moment.

Enjoy the little things and don’t worry about “I should” statements.

Instead of trying to predict the future, be a rock star for at least 5 minutes a day and focus on the moment. Rather than trying to create the perfect future, you can create art that matters. A piece of art that can change a person’s life for the better.

2. Practice walking meditation.

Walking is a form of active meditation. It’s a beautiful way to calm the mind, be present and mindful of your experiences while you walk. Look at the trees, flowers, and people you pass. More importantly, don’t forget to breathe.

3. Unplug from the internet.

You know what to do. Turn the internet off and focus on your thoughts. When the “should” statements get too overwhelming, write down all of the thoughts that pop into your mind. Getting the “should” statements onto paper will help clear your mind and move forward.

Happiness is the harvest of a quiet mind. Anchor your thoughts on peace, poise, security, and divine guidance, and your mind will be productive of happiness.


Now shhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ :)

chief happiness officer......

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  From the moment Alexander wakes up with gum in his hair, things just don't go Alexander's way. When Alexander gets out of bed, he trips on the skateboard and drops his sweater into the sink while the water was running. At breakfast, Alexander's brothers, Anthony and Nick reach into their cereal boxes and find amazing prizes while Alexander ends up with cereal.

At home, the family has lima beans for dinner (which he hates), there is kissing on TV (which he also hates), bath time becomes a nightmare (too hot water, soap in his eyes, and losing a marble down the drain) and he has to wear his railroad train pajamas (he hates his railroad train pajamas).

At bedtime, his nightlight burns out, he bites his tongue, Nick takes back a pillow, and the family cat chooses to sleep with Anthony. No wonder Alexander wants to move to Australia.

Sound like your day?  (or have you just read this book?)

Ok... let's fix it.

Try this first: Talk To A Good Friend
Here, the emphasis is on good. Trying to find support from someone with poor listening skills or who really doesn't want to support you can make you feel worse, as can someone who will engage in co-rumination instead of trying to help you pull out of things. (The best balance is someone who will listen to your feelings, empathize, and then help you look at things you may be missing or help you get into a new frame of mind in another way. Sometimes even the listening and empathizing can help you pull out of things on your own.)

Ok... that didn't work??  Take a Mini-Meditation Break
Meditation can be a great tool for helping people get into a different frame of mind. Even a 5- or 10-minute meditation can give you a needed break from what's stressing you and help you come back with a new perspective and a fresh start. It can also turn off your stress response you you're physiologically back to normal.

Still miserable?  Well then.... Count Your Blessings
Gratitude has some wonderful benefits for stress management and well-being. It's also hard to focus on how bad things are when you're focusing on how good things are! Counting off 10 or more things you're grateful for, or really dwelling on 2 or 3, can get you into a whole different place, and turn a bad day around!

alright.... if all else fails..... CHOCOLATE!
One small piece of very good chocolate, savored with a cup of green tea and a quiet break from stress, can help me feel a little pampered and do wonders for my mood if all else fails.

Today, it was the talk with the good friend that helped me pull out if it. (That and just focusing on getting work done.) Other days, other things work well. What helps you shake the negative energy of an 'until-now bad day'?

Choose to be happy. Choose to be carefree and enjoy life. Choose to laugh even more than you do. Replace any worries with happy thoughts.  My guess is that you’ll be very glad you did. And, you’ll live not only a longer..... but also a much happier, rewarding life.

Now.... who took my chocolate??

forgive and forget......

Forgiveness is a difficult topic. On one hand, we feel that we have learned to forgive. On the other hand, we find ourselves resisting when we actually try to forgive someone.  Implementing forgiveness into our lives is a process.

So here I am today... faced with having to let something go and forgive.  Know what?  I don’t know what the other person is going through and if I hold anger, it takes away from my own joy. It is not just for the other person that I should forgive, but for myself, so I don't waste my life angry with someone or continue to hold a grudge.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  It is a release from the burden of anger and pain.  When you choose to forgive, you choose to live in the present and the future instead of the past.  It does not mean to forget but it does mean to release and go on.  Forgiveness doesn't happen on it's own, you must choose to forgive.

So... Mr. or Mrs. Disney Wallet thief.... I forgive you.  Pass it on.

a place for everything......

I've been executing a test at home this week.  It's an easy one... probably one that MOST of you would pass.  That is, of course if you are a woman.  The rest of you I am convinced would FAIL.

Here's the test I've been conducting over the past 4 days.  There's a pencil on my staircase going upstairs.  Obvioulsy a pencil doesn't belong on the stairs, right?  Do you pick it up?  Or do you walk over it 45 times a day.... for 4 days????

Guess how MY family has decided to answer?

Now I know I have an OCD issue.  Things need to be just so.  But.... really?  Please explain to me why it's so hard to pick to pick things up that don't belong somewhere.  Especially on the floor!?!?!

I've come to the conclusion that cleaning is low priority for some people.  Ok... low priority for MEN.  You know, because they don't even have time to complete their abundance of high-priority activities. Like napping, watching sports games on TV, drinking beer while discussing women's physical and sexual attributes, bowling, and flirting with their sister-in-law while their wife is doing the dishes......

Then there's the reason that men somehow believe that cleaning is women's work and so by doing it, they'll be perceived as less masculine. Unfortunately, this has historical precedent. At the high point of his career, Alexander the Great was spotted dusting his shield. For the remainder of his life, no matter how impressive his accomplishments, whenever he passed by, onlookers would snicker and refer to him as, first, Alexander the Duster; then, Dusty, Dustine, and finally, Dust. Eventually, this drove him insane. At his funeral, mourners could not help but scoff and toss feather dusters on top of his coffin.

Well.... we wouldn't want THAT to happen... would we??

My point of this??  Well... simple.  Clean home = happy home.  Finish what you start... and put things where they belong....  both are simple mood lifters that'll make you feel GREAT... and keep a smile on your spouses' face as well. 

Now someone... PLEASE... pick up that pencil!! :)

peanut lining..... :(

I'm a realist... kinda.  Can you be a realist and a dreamer at the same time?  Ok.. then maybe I'm not a realist.

I purposely didn't have Mehri's allergies tested for four years on purpose.  I thought that maybe if I gave it enough time.... and didn't inject her with any allergen.... she'd outgrow them.  So I waited.

Our insurance is changing on September 1st.. so now was the time.  So... we called Dr. Rockoff's office (ahhhhh.... Dr. Rockoff... HOTTIE!!!)  *ahem... sorry.  We called his office, made an appointment... and prayed.

Her peanut test blew up her back with hives in less than 30 seconds.  Same with Cashews.... and almonds.... and... and... and..... UGH.  Poor thing.  She said she felt her back get tight.... and made her cry.  I think she was hoping too.... :(

So stupid of me to think it would have changed.  He told me 8 years ago that it wouldn't.  What is it about me that always thinks things will ALWAYS work out??  That happiness will prevail???  That good wins over evil??

Disney?  My catholic upbringing?  Who knows.  What I do know is that I'm sad.  I wanted her to be ok... to not have to worry about eating something on accident.  To not be that "girl" with the allergy.  She's getting older now... and girls are mean.  Enough said.

The silver lining - she's not allergic to shellfish.  I should be smiling.. I know.  But, I'm not.

Thanks to my family and friends for being so supportive.  You know I'll find the positive in this.... tomorrow.

xo

the old man is snoring....

Have you ever had a day where you've done nothing.  Like seriously NOTHING.  Today - for me - was one of those days.  I think God made it rain on purpose.  It was like he was saying "stay in your PJ's all day, Laura."  He has probably noticed how stressed I've been lately.  Either that, or her REALLY wants me to clean out my kids' closets.

However, I fought the urge to clean and have done nothing today.  Not one thing.  And you know what?  I really don't care.  This weather has a tinge of fall in it.... which means winter is right around the corner.  And then comes Christmas.... and family gatherings... and.... um........... oh let's not go there.

So I begin to think.....Rainy days in the spring help melt the snow away, and give rise to the first plants of spring poking up out of the ground in search of the sun. The rain releases the scent of spring that has been buried under the snow for months, you can smell new life beginning as well as see it.

Rainy days in summer bring relief from the heat and humidity most of the time, it’s as if the rain refreshes the world. During an extended heat wave such as the one we’ve been having here, it feels like the entire world is being beaten down, everything moves at a slower pace, dragging along just hoping for the end of the misery. The rain washes away the dust that has collected on everything stationary, and cleans the summer air, making everything fresh and new.  There is nothing so refreshing as a long summer shower.

So... as we sit under these dark rainy clouds today.... take the day to relax from the summer craziness, take a deep breath before the school craziness begins,  look out your window..... and watch nature spring to life.

Or... do what I'm going to do.... pop in Season 2 of the Love Boat and enjoy hours of "new romance!"  Happy Sunday everyone!

what is beautiful?

There was a time -- it seems like ancient history now -- when I wore size 8 clothes and weighed 120 pounds.

Needless to say, my clothes are a few sizes bigger and I hate to step on the scales and be confronted with much larger numbers.

 

"I love you just as you are," my loving husband tells me all the time about the ravages of time and birthing two children.   "You're beautiful to me."   Blah blah blah.

 

Although that is all that truly matters -- being appreciated and loved for whom you really are, (physical and emotional) scars and all -- it's hard to look at yourself in the mirror in comparison to the standard of beauty today. Tall, thin female "waifs" with disproportionate "Barbie-like" features walk the fashion catwalk to showcase size 0 clothing.

 

That doesn't describe hundreds of millions of women, nor me. When did the debate start about what defines plus size clothing, size 12 or 14?

 

For centuries, beautiful women were shapely, soft and rounded, maybe even plump. Anyone remember the vivacious and curvy size 10 or 12 sexpot Marilyn Monroe? Would she be considered a sexpot now?

 

There are some beautiful "plus-size" women in Hollywood, but let us all admit it's only a handful, and that is not enough. The standards of outward beauty are constantly evolving, while consideration for inner beauty appears to be drifting further and further away from social consciousness.

 

Enjoying the company of my fellow humans, I feel blessed to know and work with so many beautiful people, inside and out. They inspire me to be better, which is why I don't plan on dieting. I just want to be healthier.

When I first thought of beauty I usually think of outward appearances. Maybe it’s because I’m struggling right now with being satisfied with my own looks or maybe I’m just vain. Who knows.  Regardless, I started thinking “For me to be beautiful I need to be skinny again (as in pre-pregnancy weight) and toned. I need to have my circles gone or at the very least well hidden. I need to have a cute hair cut. I need cute clothes.”

Then…my kids woke up. I walked in their rooms to say good morning and they smiled.  At that moment I realized that what I was defining as beautiful really wasn’t beautiful….this was.

Nothing is more beautiful to me than my kids smiling at me when they wake up.

Nothing is more beautiful than looking in the mirror and being able to say “I love you for who you are and will always be.”

Beautiful is the first warm day after an excruciating winter.
Beautiful is being happy with who you are and being proud of where you are in your life.
Beautiful is getting a hug that lasts that extra moment because your friend/loved one knows you need it.
Beautiful is a friendship that comes to save you when you’re at your lowest.
Beautiful is living a life you’re proud of and one that you can tell your children about without feeling guilty.

Beautiful is sunny days.

Beautiful is faith in a God bigger than my problems.

Beautiful is friends to encourage me.

Beautiful is friends I can encourage.

Beautiful is family I can adore.

Beautiful is a cozy bed at night to curl up with my hubby.

Beautiful is a roof over my head.

Beautiful is Happy memories.

We are beautiful!

Here’s to enjoying the beautiful moments in life…big or small.  What IS beautiful to you?

send in the clowns.....

Sometimes.... you just have to laugh.  Hard.  Really really hard.

We laugh for different reasons, what I find humorous may not necessarily make you laugh. But whatever makes us laugh makes us feel good. And for a detectable health reason…
•Laughter has been shown to reduce certain stress hormones, changes the flight-fright responses that occur in times of stress.
•Laughter boosts our immune system, lowers our blood pressure, and increases our oxygen levels.
•Laughter due to its’ physical nature gives us an overall body workout. So you can have fun, keep fit and stay healthy all in one easy step.

Sometimes we take life way too seriously. We have been taught to run through our lives with such a speed we have no time to laugh. I remember reading that children laugh over 300 times in a day when adults laugh less than 15 times. 15! What happens to us when we grow up?

When we are able to laugh, we are in touch with life´s goodness. We feel life has a purpose.
Laughter unites people - very different kinds of people can be together if they share the same sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine in uniting people with differing views of life.
I have seen the most unlikely couples stay together year after year - and I have noticed that they laugh together a lot. The ones who don´t share laughter, usually don´t stay together - and if they do, they don´t seem to be very happy in their relationship.  I make Reza laugh all the time.... :)

You know what else makes me always laugh? Child laughter.It's one of world´s greatest joys. Little children have all the fun - but they sure are willing to share if we just take the time to enjoy their company.

Child laughter comes straight from the heart. They have the best giggles. Do you still remember those wonderful days with your best friend when you could start laughing with no reason and laugh so long you could barely breathe?  My sister and I used to do it in church all the time.... which usually ended up with us being separated.  We STILL laugh at the mention of cherry cheesecake.... long story.

How will you find time for laughter today?  

the green eyed monster...

I'm on the mailing list.  You know... the one that sends all those special offers for 35% off, free this... free that... at the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.  Got one yesterday... and I've been crabby ever since.

My Vacation Club-holding brother is going in October.  My sister leaves in 2 weeks.  Me?  Well....not happening.  Don't get me wrong... I am so very happy for everyone that gets to go spend quality family time together in a tropical-like climate with a large mouse and all his friends.  I'm just jealous.... which bothers me in two ways.  First, I'm bothered that it's not me who's going.  Second, I'm bothered that I'm jealous.  I don't like to be jealous.  It's against every moral fiber of my being.  And REALLY makes me cranky.  And ask anyone... I am NOT fun when I'm cranky.  Ok... so that's three ways.  I like to be fun too.  Ugh.

I know, you're all shaking your heads at me saying "LOSER."  What's the big deal?  You were just there in April.  Your kids have been there so many times, it's sick.  Think of all the people that have never gone.  Haven't you been there enough?  There are so many other places in the world... why do you always go there?  It's so hot there right now.  You want to stand in huge lines in the sweltering heat with 50,000 kids?

YES.

Jealousy.  I looked it up.  I won't write down the definition because it annoys me.   Instead, let's look deeper.  I know each and every one of us is jealous of SOMETHING.  You know what?  I think that jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. Like if you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom.

When it happens....ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.

All of us also need to change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear.to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear.

If all else fails, fake it. Portray a non-jealous facade while you work on overcoming jealousy. Eventually, working your way through your feelings, the facade will become real, but in the meantime you will protect yourself from appearing jealous to others.

So, I have issues.  I admit it.  I'm going to work through them BUT ..... In the meantime... maybe I'll drive Reza crazy enough that he'll give in and take us..... :)  Right.

be good for something....

I was thinking this morning about all the jobs I've had over the years and how they've formed me into who I am today.  I worked the drive-thru at McDonalds, sales at Kinney Shoes (Gregg!!), Victoria's Secret, and The Gap.  I met my husband while working at Vix. (best store EVER!)  I was the office manager, and he was Loss Prevention.  I then moved to Tops Corporate in the demo department... such a fun job organizing all those little old women and men giving out free samples in the stores.

I then got serious.  Graduated from college and immediately started working as a newspaper reporter.  Very interesting.  I then moved on to the big time... the Girl Scouts.

Funny how all these little jobs have been such a big part of my life in some way.  If it wasn't for McDonalds, I wouldn't know that those yummy pickles came in a big huge green bucket.  And..... ummmmm.... Ok... that's about all I learned there.....

If it wasn't for Kinney Shoes... I wouldn't have met my friend Gregg.  (And ultimately all my FB peeps... who have turned into really good friends.....)  It was there that I learned how to dye shoes and measure feet!  Gregg and I lost touch for about 20 years.... (not sure how....) however, we reconnected through FB.   (So cool.) So now I really do believe that old quote... "You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again."  Amazing, huh? 

Victoria's Secret... well... that speaks for itself.  It's also where I became a body spray fanatic. :)   Enough said.

I loved working at Vix.  I made so many friends and had so many fun experiences while I was there.  Best part... I met Reza.  He always tells me that he never liked that store..... so I point to our two beautiful kids and say... "oh yeah?  If it wasn't for Vix......."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah....." he says.

From Vix, got promoted to Tops Corporate.  After many years there, I decided I wasn't where I wanted to be in life.  I have a HUGE heart and really love to make a difference.  I like to advocate.  I like to be part of something I KNOW is important.  Enter in.... the Girl Scouts.  I got a job where I'm helping build girls of Courage,  Confidence, and Character who make the world a better place.  I love going to work every day knowing that whatever I do directly impacts the lives of girls and women.  It's not just selling cookies... it's knowing that I help to give girls the opportunity to set goals, learn customer service, be a helpful part of their community and open their eyes to the needs of others.

It's truly amazing.  I've worked for the Girl Scouts for 13 years.  I've watched girls who were 6 grow up to be strong women.... go to college.... and give back to the world.  It's a very powerful organization, and one that I am so proud to be a part.  I could never, ever go back to working retail or for a "for-profit" company.  I love the idea that I am making a difference... I work very hard, but I know that in the end, that little 5-year-old girl somewhere has a huge smile on her face because she just sold her first box of cookies... all by herself.

Do what you LOVE, and you'll LOVE what you do.  It's as simple as that.

what's another word for thesaurus?

ok... ok... I'll write something positive today.  Now that I got the driving thing off my chest... I feel a lot better.

Here are some things to ponder today..... 

Why doesn't McDonalds sell hot dogs?

In a movie theatre... which armrest is yours?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Yes... I know... you've heard all these before.  Little thoughts that make you go hummmmmm......  they're cute... and funny... and usually bring a smile to one's face.  Come on.... admit it.

It's all part of positive thinking.  A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it.  I know... can you believe it?

It is quite common to hear people (especially me!) say: "Think positive!".  It's usually to someone who feels down and worried. However, I know most people do not take these words seriously, as they don't know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective. How many people do you know, who stop to think what the power of positive thinking means?

All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference, and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people and avoid negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment.  Yep. It's true.

So... if you're struggling with positivity today.... try this:

Smile a little more.  And smile like you mean it.  (Even if you don't!)  Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.

EVERY day... plan to do something selfless.  No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.   Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?  Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!

Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.

Remember why you Care  - Last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care. If you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.

Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.

And yes... I'll even try these things when I'm driving.

Happy Monday! :)